The sistema developed for the business was useful for solving family problems. American writer and TV presenter Bruce Feiler tells how to apply agile at home.
How to wake up and collect everyone in the morning, how to make children sometimes, but to spit until the end of dinner? How to at least occasionally flirting each other again … and also drag a teenage son from the gadget and make the daughter help the house. Besides? Many of us are forced to take care of aging parents and young children at the same time. A familiar story? Perhaps every second family will breathe and nods in response. American writer and TV presenter Bruce Failer knows how to help you.
Not only in business, but also in the family
Most likely, you heard about Agile. This is a flexible approach to development, including different methodologies. Perhaps the company in which you work successfully applies this approach. And this is great: with the help of Agile you can be more productive, learn how to cooperate and achieve results with the least efforts.
But it turns out that Agile is useful not only in business, but also at home. This is what will save you from home chaos. Bruce Feiler is sure of this
– author of the book “Agile in the family: 200 bold and fresh ideas”, published in a convenient pocket format in the publishing house “Alpina.Children”.
Examples and stories instead of a magic pill
If you expect that all home problems will be solved by the wave of a magic wand, alas, it will not work. Bruce Feiler’s book will not be instructions on how to turn a family into a clockwork working without failures. But if you are ready to adopt the experience of happy families and creatively approach the solution of problems, responding to each call with the phrase “this is an interesting situation”, then feel free to read!
“Agile in the family: 200 brave and fresh ideas” will not only introduce the experience of other families, but also tell you how to come up with your own scenarios of getting out of difficult situations.
What situations will you figure out when reading Bruce Feiler’s book?
- How to instill in children their values and help avoid mistakes.
- How to make your life full -fledged, and the family is happy.
- How to avoid routine and keep love in a couple.
- How to support each other in different situations, quarrel wisely and conduct difficult conversations with the child.
Family Agile Manifest
To understand what will be discussed in the book, read the Agile manifest Bruce Failer. If you feel that his ideas respond to you, print and hang a manifesto for the most prominent place in the house.
1. Decisions exist. Agile ideas made me believe that there are hundreds of innovations that can help many families become happier. To improve the atmosphere in the family, it is not necessary to speak only with family psychotherapists. You can chat with any person specializing in coordinated work of groups. This was the main message of this project. There are solutions – we just need to find them.
2. Give the children rights. As parents, we instinctively give orders to children. We think that we know better. It is easier, and and who has time for disputes? Family is one of the most “cascading” systems. But, as all parents soon discover, repeating to the children the same time after time – not always the best tactics. The most important lesson that we can endure from the principles of Agile is to try to change the direction of this cascade as often as possible. Give the children the opportunity to influence their own education themselves.
Here is another of the lessons I learned from the principles of Agile: when I meet friends who use checklists-lists of houses, schedules, spending on pocket expenses, I ask them the question of who raises the boxes or children. The answer is unchanged – adults. To achieve maximum benefit, let the children note the solved tasks themselves. So they will become more conscious. This approach instills in children the skill of solving problems that will be useful to them in life.
3. Remember that parents are not perfect either. Parents instinctively seek to look omnivores in the eyes of children. We force ourselves to be people who have an answer to everything competent in all matters, Mr. or Mrs. “Solve this”.
But there is a lot of evidence that such a model of leadership is not optimal. Scientists from the Massachusetts Technology Institute published a revolutionary work on the secrets of successful teams in Harvard Business Review. They observed small groups of people working in different fields on different continents, and came to the conclusion that the most effective teams do not have a dominant charismatic leader. Members of a successful team discuss all issues both with the leader and with each other, they regularly hold meetings at which everyone is equally expressed.
4. Create a safe area. Each parent quickly understands that all children, like adults, react differently to conflict situations. Some, when they are criticized, attack in response, others are closed in themselves, and others begin to cry.
The key value of family assemblies is the emergence of a special space to overcome these disagreements. This is a safe zone where everyone feels on equal terms and no one can leave until a solution has been found. “When the children are late at school or arrange scenes in the supermarket,” says Linda Rusting, a specialist in agile systems, “I am not worried that I need to immediately discuss this with them. For such purposes, we have a Sunday evening “.
5. Be flexible. Parents often create several rules and adhere to them all the way. Such a philosophy suggests that we are supposedly able to foresee any problem that will arise in the future. But this is impossible. Modern technologies demonstrate how quickly everything changes. Judge on the Internet: if today you do the same as six months ago, then, in all likelihood, you are on the wrong way. Based on this, parents can learn a lot.
